Relationship Psychology Glossary

Evidence-based definitions with academic references. Used in Lovulative's communication tools.

• Anxious Attachment
  Anxious attachment is an attachment style characterized by fear of abandonment, over-communication under stress, and difficulty trusting relational stability.
• Avoidant Attachment
  Avoidant attachment is an attachment style characterized by emotional distance, discomfort with intimacy, and withdrawal under relational pressure.
• Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
  Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a framework for expressing needs clearly without blame, developed by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg.
• Intermittent Reinforcement
  Intermittent reinforcement is a behavioral pattern where unpredictable rewards create stronger emotional attachment than consistent ones.
• Amygdala Hijack
  Amygdala hijack is when the brain's threat-detection center overrides rational thinking, causing impulsive reactions during emotional stress.
• Decision Fatigue in Relationships
  Decision fatigue in relationships is the mental exhaustion from constantly analyzing mixed signals, drafting texts, and evaluating your partner's behavior.
• Gottman Repair Attempts
  Repair attempts are actions or statements during conflict that prevent negative emotions from escalating, identified by Dr. John Gottman's relationship research.
• Polyvagal Theory in Relationships
  Polyvagal theory explains how the nervous system determines whether we feel safe enough for connection, or defensive and shut down.
• Secure Attachment
  Secure attachment is characterized by comfort with intimacy, trust in partners, and effective emotional regulation during conflict.
• Disorganized Attachment (Fearful-Avoidant)
  Disorganized attachment, also known as fearful-avoidant, involves a desire for closeness coupled with intense fear of it, often due to trauma.
• Protest Behavior
  Protest behavior refers to actions taken to re-establish connection when feeling disconnected, often in counterproductive ways like excessive texting.
• Deactivating Strategy
  Deactivating strategies are mental or behavioral techniques used by avoidant individuals to suppress intimacy needs and maintain distance.
• Love Bombing
  Love bombing is a manipulative tactic involving excessive affection and attention early in a relationship to gain control.
• Breadcrumbing
  Breadcrumbing is sending sporadic, flirtatious messages to keep someone interested without any intention of committing.
• Future Faking
  Future faking is promising a future together (vacations, marriage, etc.) to get what one wants in the present, without intention to deliver.
• Orbiting
  Orbiting is when an ex cuts off direct communication but continues to engage with your social media content.
• Stonewalling
  Stonewalling is withdrawing from interaction and refusing to communicate, often as a physiological response to flooding.
• Gaslighting
  Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that makes someone question their own reality, memory, or sanity.
• Core Wound
  A core wound is a deep-seated emotional pain or belief formed in childhood that influences adult relationship triggers.
• Emotional Permanence
  Emotional permanence is the ability to believe someone loves you even when they are not present or actively showing it.
• Mirror Neurons
  Mirror neurons are brain cells that fire when we observe others' emotions, forming the biological basis for empathy and co-regulation.
• Co-Regulation
  Co-regulation is the reciprocal process where partners help regulate each other's nervous systems through safety and connection.
• Window of Tolerance
  The Window of Tolerance is the optimal zone of arousal where a person can function and process emotions effectively.
• Neuroception
  Neuroception is the subconscious process by which the nervous system detects safety or threat in the environment.
• Situationship
  A situationship is a romantic arrangement that lacks clear commitment or definitions, often causing anxiety and confusion.
• Limerence
  Limerence is an involuntary state of intense romantic desire, obsession, and idealization of a specific person.
• Narcissistic Supply
  Narcissistic supply refers to the attention, admiration, or emotional reaction that a narcissist needs to regulate their fragile self-esteem.
• Flying Monkeys
  Flying monkeys are people manipulated by a narcissist to spy on, harass, or pressure the victim on their behalf.
• Trauma Bond
  A trauma bond is a strong emotional attachment to an abuser, formed through a cycle of intense highs and lows.
• Complex PTSD (C-PTSD)
  Complex PTSD results from prolonged, repeated trauma (like emotional abuse) and involves emotional dysregulation and negative self-concept.
• Emotional Flashback
  An emotional flashback is a sudden regression to the intense feelings of a past trauma, often without a visual memory.
• Fawning Response (Please & Appease)
  Fawning is a trauma response where a person pleases and appeases the abuser to avoid conflict and ensure safety.
• Parentification
  Parentification occurs when a child is forced to take on the role of a parent to their own parent or siblings, causing long-term relational issues.
• Enmeshment
  Enmeshment is a relationship dynamic where boundaries are blurred and individual autonomy is lost.
• Triangulation
  Triangulation is a manipulation tactic where a third party is brought into a relationship conflict to control or invalidate the victim.
• Grey Rock Method
  The Grey Rock Method is a strategy for dealing with toxic people by becoming emotionally unresponsive and uninteresting.
• No Contact Rule
  The No Contact Rule is the complete cessation of all communication with a toxic ex-partner to facilitate healing.
• Hoovering
  Hoovering is a manipulation tactic used by abusers to suck their victims back into the relationship after a breakup.
• Discard Phase
  The Discard Phase is the final stage of the narcissistic abuse cycle, where the victim is abruptly abandoned.
• DARVO
  DARVO stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. It is a defense mechanism used by abusers to escape accountability.
• J.A.D.E. (Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain)
  JADE stands for Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain. Avoiding JADE is key to setting boundaries with toxic people.
• Learned Helplessness
  Learned helplessness is a state where a person feels unable to change their situation after repeated failures or abuse.
• Self-Sabotage
  Self-sabotage involves behaviors that undermine your own relationship success, often driven by fear of intimacy or failure.
• Inner Child
  The inner child refers to a person's original self and early emotional experiences that continue to influence adult behavior.
• Reparenting
  Reparenting is the act of giving yourself the emotional support, discipline, and care you didn't receive as a child.
• Shadow Work
  Shadow work involves exploring the unconscious, repressed parts of yourself to integrate them and achieve wholeness.
• Projection
  Projection is a defense mechanism where you attribute your own unacceptable thoughts or feelings onto someone else.
• Transference
  Transference is redirecting feelings for a figure from the past (like a parent) onto a person in the present.
• Counter-Dependency
  Counter-dependency is the refusal of attachment and rigid self-reliance, often as a defense against trust issues.
• Emotional Availability
  Emotional availability is the capacity to share emotional connection and be open with oneself and others.
• Green Flags
  Green flags are positive indicators that a relationship is healthy, safe, and has long-term potential.